• Brides

  • 20.Jul
  • Brides-July 2011-Wait, I Can’t Just Have a Wedding?
  • Heyo everyone.  I know it’s been quite a long time since I have shared my lack of knowledge on the female gender. Sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy trying to become an adult.  That’s a whole other topic in itself.  Anyway, despite my best efforts months ago, I do believe my knowledge of […]

  • Vogue February 2011

  • 07.Mar
  • First Post…Vogue Feb. 2011…Welcome to A Lot of Ads…
  • The first magazine I decided to sit down and read was Vogue from February 2011.  It has Kristen Stewart on the cover (the girl from Twilight) making some weird, sexy, zoolander type face.  I was immediately drawn to the sub-headline (not sure exactly what it’s called) “Perfect Hair at What Risk?” but we’ll get to […]

  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011

  • 09.Mar
  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011-I’m a Visual Person
  • For my next foray into women’s magazines I decided to read Cosmopolitan.  Now, if we were comparing Vogue and Cosmo to actual women, I would say that Vogue is the smart, confident, motivated girl who went to grad school and is now settled down with a family.  If I were to describe Cosmo it would […]

Welcome back!  Our magazine today is Women’s Health. This is also our first two-part edition because there was a bonus feature on beauty in the back of the magazine—which was also informative so I felt it deserved its own section.  Anyway, from the title alone I could tell that this would be a more fitness/health orientated magazine and it does just that, while including snippets of fashion, sex, and food.  Women’s Health is clearly meant for active women or women who want to be active.  It’s similar to its brother magazine Men’s Health with its content and set up but it is a very different read….


First off, Women’s Health has an advisory board of about 20 PhD’s ranging from Dermatology to figuring out the latest love triangle on Grey’s Anatomy expert (kidding)—point being they have people who can answer questions and contribute.


The first section or part of the magazine I noticed was an ad for the ‘ReeTone’ or a shoe from Reebok that makes your ass look good.  These seem to be popular for women, which leads us to…


Fashion Lesson #1:  Shoes that make your ass look good are popular


Anyway, I’m not a doctor of anything but doesn’t just walking in general do this for people?  I’m pretty sure that cavewomen had nice asses too and they didn’t have shoes.  I don’t really understand the visual in the ad either—the woman is checking herself out in a mirror while pushing a cart of baggage…moving on

Wait. Walking is exercise?


Women’s Health also features an ‘ask the guy’ portion with questions such as “I want kids, but my boyfriend of two years now says he doesn’t want them.  Do I cut my losses or see if he comes around?” and “I’m not ready for us to live together, but my guy is.  What’s the least hurtful way to tell him?”  These problems seem that they can be solved by communicating with their respective partners.  But I think this guy does an okay job at explaining that.


Fashion Lesson #2:  Threading is a way that women get rid of their eyebrows.  It involves tying a cotton string around the eyebrows and pulling them out hair by hair.  OUCH.  A lot of work goes into those eyebrows—makes sense women probably don’t want to look like this

Apparently 7% of men show affection in public by grabbing butts.  Where do they find the men for these polls?

The next sections of the magazine are broken down into ‘SCOOP ‘ sections.  These sections are: Beauty, Nutrition, Weight Loss, Fitness, Health and Sex…kinda  covers everything.



There is a laser surgery for female toe fungus…at least they aren’t talking about farting in this issue…


Fashion Lesson #3: Dry shampoo is popular—it doesn’t leave strands to soft too a hold a style…



Like I said before, Women’s Health has about 20 PhD’s on their board.  They come up with amazing facts such as: ‘people who regularly drink pure fruit juice consume higher levels of several key nutrients’


Weight Loss

Most of the content dealt with cutting calories or ways to consume food with minimal calorie intake. Obviously an overall theme of not only this section but also the whole magazine is body image and ways to increase it.  It also included interesting facts such as: A two-ounce milk chocolate bunny has the same amount of calories as 8.3 Marshmallow Peeps Bunnies…I’ll take the chocolate bunny any day.



Dealt with training trouble spots…mine are my thighs—can never get them to look toned and how beets can provide energy or great music.



Fun Fact! Women may be slower attacking tasks when ovulating–that was about it from this section.



A few interesting tidbits such as the time of day that a women will win an argument with a man is 3:00 p.m.  That is probably because he is working or waking up from a nap.


There is a section on arms—which claims that men think arms are extremely sexy.  I tend to agree, but that’s not what intrguied me about this section.  There is a picture of Cameron Diaz (right) who is placing her arm on her hip.  I believe this is in order to make the arm look skinnier.  I don’t understand this.  Most of the women I see in pictures do this.  It looks as if they are about to start one half of the Macarena…someone explain..anyway moving on…

I don't really get this...

Cover story about Emma Roberts.

General theme is how she has grown from a girl from a famous family to a woman creating a name for herself.

Interesting facts about Emma Roberts:

-She auditioned for Scream 4 over Skype

-She reads intellectually stimulating books like: Twilight and Eat, Pray, Love

-For workouts she has recently taken up pole dancing—apparently it helps her upper body strength…duly noted.


Fashion Lesson #3: Horizontal stripes add oomph to straight silhouettes…I have no idea what this means


Spread on the best skirts for women’s body types.  Women’s body types can be broken down into 4 sections:






Men’s body types can be broken down into 4 categories:



Really Fat



Moving on….


Fashion Lesson #4: Watches are great accessories

Next sections include fitness tips without a gym and questions dealing with fitness.   Overall, the article seemed to give good advice, the women demonstrating the workouts looks super pissed off…I think she has a pear body….and it’s difficult to understand exactly what the animated people are demonstrating..

A little confusing.


The next article dealt with women and stress

It included tips on how women could avoid stress such as naps (which was my favorite) and if you feel tempted to bitch out a co-worker, take a multi-vitamin (of course!).  The overall sense I got from this article is that women are under an insane amount of pressure externally, but really internalize that.  It had some great insights such as women often stress themselves out and work too hard because they feel if they don’t feel that way then they are not working hard or something is wrong or they are being lazy.  Simply: they feel normal being stressed out.  It also mentions how women compete with each other to see who is stressed out more—a female version of a pissing contest.

Changing the tone up a bit, they focused on a woman who has lost well over a 100 lbs and how she did it.  Clearly meant to motivate its reader.  The next page’s placement is interesting; it’s an ad for an anti-depressant.  You don’t see this in any male publications and by seeing how the tone of the magazine has gone up and down—it kind of shows how women do probably deal with a lot more pressure and need to deal with it more than men.

There were several cooking recipes and pieces on using natural ingredients to cook in this issue.  My only question is: if women are so stressed about work, work out all the time and have families-where the hell do they find the time to cook?  And if they do, good for them…


More food articles and how to eat healthy…


The next article I focused on was about three types of people in relationships:

Anxious: people who love being coupled up, but are sensitive to minor changes

Avoidant: miss them while they are away, but want to get away when they are nearby; also fixate on small flaws (aka Seinfeld complex)

Secure: apparently these people are perfect (according to the author)

Each description gave a counter about how you could be with one of these three types of people.  They all came down to one word: communication.

The next two articles surprised me because they touched upon female stereotypes; one being that women have a terrible sense of direction and the other being that women are always late.  These articles actually gave TIPS on how to work on these ‘defects’

My favorites being:

Before navigating your way through a new environment…study a map

People fail to plan for the varying nature of the delays they’ll encounter


Anyway, moving on….


A man named Dan Abrams wrote a book about how women are better than men.  The top three things are:

Women Are Better Doctors

Women Have Better Muscle Endurance

Women Are Better Investors


The most informative article of this issue (besides the stress piece) was about…


BOOBS…or as entitled in the magazine: ‘Learning Curves’.  It dealt with women’s breasts.  Here are the things that I learned about breasts from the article:

Boobs are complicated

It’s not unusual for stuff to drip from the nipples and can come in yellow, green, white, gray, red and vary from thick and sticky to thin and watery. (I didn’t say they were cool facts)


-In some cases it’s difficult to feed if a women has a breast augmentation.


-Breasts don’t have muscles.  Could have fooled me


-Covered before: but caffeine increases breast soreness.


-Some women have as many as 6 nipples.


-Breasts sag with age-duh- but also the risk of breast cancer increases


-It’s abnormal to have identical breasts


-Common for one breast to be larger than the other


-Average nipple size is a centimeter in both length and diameter


-Average areole can range from the size of a dime to the palm of a hand


-While lactating breasts can swell by more than a pound


Quite an interesting article and again goes by what I said last post: that a woman’s body is so complex even most women don’t understand it.  Women should really give men some breaks then…


And finally, the last article dealt with the idea of ‘grit’ or perseverance.


Overall, Women’s Health is created for active/healthy women.  It deals a lot with food and exercise.  Similar to Cosmo it also creates a forum for women to ask questions and informs women about their bodies and relationship issues.  It dealt with more serious issues-such as stress and depression but also provided some inspirational pieces and showed that women can overcome a lot of obstacles to get to where they want to be.


Key Learning’s:

-Women put themselves under a lot of pressure

-Difficult to stay fit and women look for ways to enjoy their fitness routines

-Women deal with a lot of issues both internally and externally and the fact they can even manage a day with everything that is going both in their body and in their daily lives—is extremely commendable and something we (men) shouldn’t forget.

-ARMS are huge for the ladies—want them to be toned—similar to arms for men but without all the veins.


Click here for Part 2-Women’s Health: Special Beauty Bonus


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