• Brides

  • 20.Jul
  • Brides-July 2011-Wait, I Can’t Just Have a Wedding?
  • Heyo everyone.  I know it’s been quite a long time since I have shared my lack of knowledge on the female gender. Sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy trying to become an adult.  That’s a whole other topic in itself.  Anyway, despite my best efforts months ago, I do believe my knowledge of […]

  • Vogue February 2011

  • 07.Mar
  • First Post…Vogue Feb. 2011…Welcome to A Lot of Ads…
  • The first magazine I decided to sit down and read was Vogue from February 2011.  It has Kristen Stewart on the cover (the girl from Twilight) making some weird, sexy, zoolander type face.  I was immediately drawn to the sub-headline (not sure exactly what it’s called) “Perfect Hair at What Risk?” but we’ll get to […]

  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011

  • 09.Mar
  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011-I’m a Visual Person
  • For my next foray into women’s magazines I decided to read Cosmopolitan.  Now, if we were comparing Vogue and Cosmo to actual women, I would say that Vogue is the smart, confident, motivated girl who went to grad school and is now settled down with a family.  If I were to describe Cosmo it would […]

Women’s Health-Special Beauty Bonus-April 2011-Bangs, not Fangs


And welcome to part two of our Women’s Health extravaganza.  Check out part one, if you haven’t already.  With this section I am going to focus on the ‘Special Beauty Bonus’ that was a part of the April edition of Women’s Health–only a separate ‘issue’ that was placed in the exact opposite direction of the full issue and included ‘Tons More Get-Gorgeous Tips!’.  Do women get excited about these bonuses?  I think it’s comparable to the excitement I got when I beat Mike Tyson Punch-Out in the 2nd grade…don’t really know how to express yourself, but you know it’s something that can’t be expressed in words.


This section of coursed focused on what else: beauty! It covered skin, hair and fragrances.  Which I am slowly learning is the holy trinity of women.  So let’s get started…


First section is about what foods to eat to help your complexion.  The list is as follows:


  1. Blueberries and Pomegranates—help prevent dryness of skin due some scientific fact.
  2. Dark Chocolate—protects skin from sun damage—probably because you’re inside eating chocolate all day
  3. Spinach—prevent wrinkles
  4. Walnuts—creates smoother, healthier skin
  5. Yogurt—rich with calcium which helps nails and teeth
  6. Tomatoes—prevent sun damage as well—clearly need to create a tomato/chocolate combination immediately
  7. Kiwis—keeps hair follicles strong
  8. Edamame—not only cool to say but prevent collagen and wrinkles
  9. Sweet Potatoes, Carrots and Butternut Squash—makes skin smooth
  10. Green Tea—can help prevent skin cancer and sunburns


Next section dealt with hair length and segmented different hairstyles and how to utilize those hairstyles to complement facial features.


Bangs—not going to lie I am (and I feel most men think this) are not a fan of bangs—sidenote: I used to think that these were pronounced ‘fangs’—think about it…it makes sense.  Anyway, creating a smooth foundation, darkening mascara and nude lips really make this look work….


Layered—from the intelligence I can gather this is a style that has different colors and lengths and gives ‘the illusion of higher cheekbones’…but we’ve all seen how that can look.  This is a good look in my opinion, very classy.

Pixie: not a fan.  No guy that I know really likes short hair.  Some women seem to be able to pull it off–but they are few and far between.  Even the name ‘Pixie’ sounds weird and awkward.

Kinda awkward...


Mid-length—this is all right.  Depends on how short though.  Apparently a woman can ‘keep their eyes low’ by applying a ‘champagne shadow’ across the lids of their eyes.  Makeup can do some amazing things.


Long—this is what I feel that most men like.  Long hair, not super Rapunzel style hair but shoulder to mid back is pretty solid in terms of length.


If I take anything away from that section it’s that women can do some incredible things with makeup: make your eyes lower, forehead higher and give the appearance you have bone structure when you may not.  Moving on…


The next section dealt with perfume or the scent of a woman


I had no idea how much perfume was an important factor in the whole ambiance of a woman.  Apparently, some woman never change their scent, but that is more passé and women now are changing depending on their age.  For a guy who thinks Head and Shoulders and Old Spice smell good this was an interesting insight.  Fragrance can tell a lot about women: age, where they are in life and what kind of personality they have.  Once again Women’s Health separated the differences in scents by age:


Late Teens: enjoy sweet smelling perfumes, not only for smell but to mask body odor

Twenties:  at this age scent is seen as an ‘equalizer’, though these women may not be able to afford expensive clothing, their expensive perfume levels the playing field.

Thirties: looks for a more established scent to show that is where she is at in her life—men definitely notice these things—not really.

Forties: wear what they like , don’t care how it appears to anyone else


I was hoping they would have a ‘Grandma’ section because I’ve always wondered what ‘scent’ she wore…


A section on makeup—makeup confuses the hell out of me and I am in the camp where less is more.  But as with fragrances, it appears how you wear it depends on your social status and where you are in life.


Random fact: Did you know that there is a Sense of Smell Institute?


The last section covered treatments for skincare.  What to do and what not to do.  Here are some takeaways:


-Mineral oil, shea butter, and petrolatum can hurt your skin

It’s important to apply moisturizer within 3 minutes of cleansing (that sounds like a line from a recipe)


-It helps to put ‘resveratrol’ on your skin before you go to bed.  It’s found in the skin of grapes and helps anti-aging.  Sidenote: how do they figure this stuff out?  Is someone out in vineyards rolling around in grapes and then taking notes?


-Using Retinoids, antioxidants and peptides can help prevent signs of aging—Retinoids? Those sound like some sort ailment that they ask for 12 cents a day for during commercials on the Price is Right.


-If you are happy, your skin will be happy.  If you are sad, your skin will be sad.


-Salicylic and glycolic if used too much can dry out your skin


-Omega-3 and omega-6 increase radiance and decrease inflammation of skin


-The tannins in green tea can reduce swelling


That’s it for Bonus Beauty Section from Women’s Health.  The one key learning I have from this section is that everything a women owns, wears, puts on her face and even scent can be seen as determining her social status.  If anything, how you look as a woman in compared to other women is a huge deal.  You have to be on your game almost at all times.  That’s a lot of pressure….


Until next time…









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