• Brides

  • 20.Jul
  • Brides-July 2011-Wait, I Can’t Just Have a Wedding?
  • Heyo everyone.  I know it’s been quite a long time since I have shared my lack of knowledge on the female gender. Sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy trying to become an adult.  That’s a whole other topic in itself.  Anyway, despite my best efforts months ago, I do believe my knowledge of […]

  • Vogue February 2011

  • 07.Mar
  • First Post…Vogue Feb. 2011…Welcome to A Lot of Ads…
  • The first magazine I decided to sit down and read was Vogue from February 2011.  It has Kristen Stewart on the cover (the girl from Twilight) making some weird, sexy, zoolander type face.  I was immediately drawn to the sub-headline (not sure exactly what it’s called) “Perfect Hair at What Risk?” but we’ll get to […]

  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011

  • 09.Mar
  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011-I’m a Visual Person
  • For my next foray into women’s magazines I decided to read Cosmopolitan.  Now, if we were comparing Vogue and Cosmo to actual women, I would say that Vogue is the smart, confident, motivated girl who went to grad school and is now settled down with a family.  If I were to describe Cosmo it would […]

What I’ve Learned So Far…You Can Learn A lot in 7 Days and 5 Magazines


What an interesting first week for this blog.  I got a lot of feedback and most of it was telling me that the posts were too long.  Well tough shit, this blog isn’t for you, it’s for me and my enrichment as an individual.  Just kidding. I’ll try to shorten it up. Anyway, I also got some emails about how it was ‘unfair’ of me to attempt to learn about women strictly by these publications.  And I completely agree with that and maybe in the future I will expand to other ways, but as of this moment I don’t have the time nor budget to do anything else (I may watch a Lifetime movie and keep a running diary—more to come on that.) But if you think about it, say an alien race came here to study present day women.  Where would they go for information?  You certainly can’t go to this lady.  So that’s how I am kind of approaching this: I am an alien trying to learn the ways of women’s culture from these publications.

A little awkward...


Okay, so the first thing I learned is that it is extremely awkward buying 4-6 women’s magazines from the checkout guy at Walgreens.  I might as well have bought tampons and not those sleek, sophisticated tampons, but those large ones that look like the planes the Wright Brothers flew.  I probably haven’t come up with anything groundbreaking yet from reading these publications, but if anything I have a new overall respect for women in terms of the time they put into their fashion, makeup and just the overall time and effort it takes to look the way they do.  I don’t want to expose too much about myself on here but this is what I currently look like.  Not a lot of effort going on.  It takes me a maximum of 4 minutes to get ready and that’s when I’m going out.  My friends say I have a ‘costume’ or that I am a ‘cartoon character’ because I pretty much wear the same outfit everyday.  I like to call it my uniform and by the way no one gets upset at Batman or Spiderman for wearing the same thing everyday for the past 40 years.  Can you imagine how gross those costumes are?  Moving on…

Themes I noticed…

Again, nothing too groundbreaking here; I was a little surprised how each publication had something along the lines of a “Have Better Sex” section.  It made it seem like this was an epidemic.   Most of the publications dealt with the same themes and issues but were different in tone.  Cosmo: very direct and sexy; Vogue: classy and motivating; Women’s Health: very quick to the point, and Glamour: fun and energetic.  From what I’ve been told Spring is a huge season for fashion so I’m looking forward to learning more about that.  Anyway, I still have a LONG way to go and am looking forward to reading more of these publications….and with that…


The most interesting thing that I’ve learned so far…

Women don’t dress for men; they dress for other women.  Fashion for women is what cars and muscles are for men: an aspect of you to show people your status or what you think your status should be. There’s really no comparison between genders–in regard to fashion.

Batman didn't care...

If a larger, uglier man is wearing the best clothes, most guys won’t notice, but if a ‘plus’ size women has the best shoes and great purse and accessories—that’s the FIRST thing women will notice and talk about.  Then it seems the conversation will go to body size, but the initial observation is what they are wearing.   Men (and I feel I can speak for most) don’t notice this stuff.  I enjoy the LBD’s (see my vocabulary is expanding) and something that isn’t too revealing (also known as: slutty) but something classy and some of those Greek style strappy shoes would be cool too.  If you look like you tried, that’s awesome and all we can generally ask for.


I also learned some new words (gyno!) and got to read about the female period and breasts.  So that was great too.  Anyway, I am looking forward to continuing with this and up next are Self Magazine and InStyle (which will probably be mostly visual).


Please feel free to email questions and feedback and comment on the posts to what you like or didn’t like.


One more thing…I still don’t get this…please explain


Until next time…


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