• Brides

  • 20.Jul
  • Brides-July 2011-Wait, I Can’t Just Have a Wedding?
  • Heyo everyone.  I know it’s been quite a long time since I have shared my lack of knowledge on the female gender. Sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy trying to become an adult.  That’s a whole other topic in itself.  Anyway, despite my best efforts months ago, I do believe my knowledge of […]

  • Vogue February 2011

  • 07.Mar
  • First Post…Vogue Feb. 2011…Welcome to A Lot of Ads…
  • The first magazine I decided to sit down and read was Vogue from February 2011.  It has Kristen Stewart on the cover (the girl from Twilight) making some weird, sexy, zoolander type face.  I was immediately drawn to the sub-headline (not sure exactly what it’s called) “Perfect Hair at What Risk?” but we’ll get to […]

  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011

  • 09.Mar
  • Cosmopolitan-March 2011-I’m a Visual Person
  • For my next foray into women’s magazines I decided to read Cosmopolitan.  Now, if we were comparing Vogue and Cosmo to actual women, I would say that Vogue is the smart, confident, motivated girl who went to grad school and is now settled down with a family.  If I were to describe Cosmo it would […]

Brides-July 2011-Wait, I Can’t Just Have a Wedding?


Heyo everyone.  I know it’s been quite a long time since I have shared my lack of knowledge on the female gender. Sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy trying to become an adult.  That’s a whole other topic in itself.  Anyway, despite my best efforts months ago, I do believe my knowledge of women has actually digressed.  I am not the wooer I once was—just kidding, I was never one to woo.  Clearly not reading about the latest women’s fashion and diets over the past months has hampered my progression.  And I have become more confused than ever. But one of the reasons I stopped was because the magazines literally were all the same; similar topics just written in different tone and targeted at slightly different women.  I wanted to do something with Oprah’s show, but then she decided to quit.   Then today I was walking past a newsstand and I saw a magazine entitled ‘Brides’ and I decided why not, let’s take another crack at it.  So let’s get started…


I had never heard of ‘Brides’ before today but it was chalk full of insights.  ‘Brides’ is about what else: Brides.  I tried to find a ‘Grooms’ magazine but they were sold-out.  At my age I don’t really think about marriage unless I hear one of my friends is getting married or in fact I attend a wedding.  Though I did see the wonderful film The Wedding Planner, I still don’t realize how much actually goes into a wedding, especially on the lady side.  But Brides covers all aspects of the wedding process from planning it to what do after you get married.


I’ve only been to a handful of weddings and was fortunate enough to be in one, but I will say I do agree with editor who says ‘Let me tell you, there’s nothing like being shoulder-to-shoulder with a crush of people bursting with pride and love for a happy couple’.  But weddings also have free alcohol and food and mostly single people.  All of which are pluses.  So all in all I have a positive view of weddings from a spectator point of view.  Anyway…


The magazine doesn’t have much written material and seems to be a picture book of wedding dresses and almost thought starters for other women’s weddings.


Apparently all wedding dresses have to be white.  This is not stated anywhere in the magazine, but it’s clear by all the pictures of wedding dresses—they are all white.  I was perplexed by the Vera Wang advertisement that said ‘White’ and featured a black dress.  I get easily confused.


Fashion Lesson #1: Wedding designers have awesome names like Lazaro, Vera and Cartier.


The first section dealt with the Prince Harry and Kate getting married.  Instilling the idea that women like to feel like princesses, and the event of a wedding offers them that type of feeling.

Fashion Lesson #2: Weddings dresses have a ‘whipped cream’ style look on some designs


The first section I’ll focus on is ‘Girl Talk’ and its focus was ‘What Are You Looking Forward To Most About the Wedding?’


I was surprised to see that most of the answers revolved around how the soon to be brides seemed to care about what people would see or think of their wedding—not the fact that they were actually getting married, but all the hoopla around it.  Side note: I’ve never used the word hoopla in my life and I think it is a sign of me getting older.  Does that mean I’m maturing?  Possibly…Anyway, that was a theme throughout the publication that the wedding involves so many tangible elements and money that people seem to lose sight of the actual idea of marriage and what they are getting themselves into.  It becomes more of a spectacle than an actual ceremony.  Kinda like my Fantasty Football Draft…More on that later…not the football draft, but the wedding idea…


Moving on…


The next portion dealt with a timeline of wedding plans such as: 10 months before your wedding you need to select your officiant.  Now, I didn’t know what an officiant was, I Googled it and I feel pretty stupid.  Anyway, some of this seemed pretty obvious (e.g. day before wedding have the rehearsal and dinner—I wonder if anyone read that and thought ‘oh shit I knew I forgot something!’) but I guess they need to cover all their bases.  This also brings up a theme of how the planning of weddings is so detailed and so many working parts are coming together to pull it off.  Women dream about their weddings for a long time and want it to be perfect.  From my previous research from the other publications it seems that women are much better planners than men.  If I tried to plan a wedding I would do it last minute, have Taco Bell cater it, and this would be my tux. Moving on…


Another cool part of weddings:  the food!  Nothing beats wedding cake; well maybe cookies ‘n’ cream drumsticks.  Wedding cakes are like art and like every other aspect in the wedding complements everything from the napkins to the bridesmaids dresses.


There were several sections on colors and themes of weddings.  Apparently, colors play a huge role in weddings.  Fun Fact! Did you know that Blue is the most popular wedding color?  Brides actually recommends to study a Crayola crayon box to become inspired about which colors to select for your wedding. I used to get in trouble for that in kindergarden.  Probably goes without saying but the wedding is an extension of the bride.  Everything that is involved with it is a reflection of her.  If she has a mismatched colored plate or a theme that doesn’t flow—it will reflect poorly on her.  Considering I can’t even find matching socks, I probably could never match all these colors together to create a nice aesthetically pleasing design.  Props to the ladies for figuring that out.


Fashion Lesson #3: Elle MacPherson makes a corsete for plus size brides…exciting!


Fashion Lesson #4: Power shoulder type dresses are popular again…kinda like this

There was of course a section for the frugal bride where the cheapest dress was $500.  I found it interesting how most women keep their dresses but most men just rent their tuxes.  Women clearly have a much more intimate feeling towards their wedding and ceremony where I feel men just want to get married and enjoy the reception.


From my perspective it seems that the main strategy for dressing the bridesmaids is to make them look as bad as possible and to have the attention focused on the bride to make her look as good as possible.


Of course no women’s magazine would be complete without a section on hair and Brides is no exception.  They give 8 tips for how to blow-dry like a pro.  I’ve only blow dried my hair once and it felt really weird—I wasn’t aware that there was a strategy involved with it.  I thought it was more of a point and shoot thing.  I ended up looking like this. Anyway, I learned the words Moroccanoil and Emulsify from this section.   I swear that shaping women’s hair should be taught in AP Physics.  Moving on…


They also gave rules for how to address the invitation envelopes.  Again, just shit I never thought about.  I now know how to address a wedding invitation for a Same-Sex Couple, A Married Couple When One is a Doctor and finally a Divorced Woman Who Uses Her Ex’s Name.   This is good stuff!


There was an interesting Q&A section on etiquette for soon-to-be brides.  My favorite was ‘Is it okay to seat all the old people at one table?’ the author said not to, but I disagree


An intriguing part of Brides were the sections that dealt with what to do after you get married.  This seems to be the part that people really don’t think about: the post wedding life.  From what I can tell from the publication, people get so consumed with the planning they completely forget that they are fucking getting married!  There is actually a form of depression associated with this phenomenon.  It’s called: Post-Wedding Depression—I think that is the type of depression Tom Cruise knew all about…Anyway, they give 5 tips for how to get over PWD and they all center on keeping your cool and not getting overwhelmed.  But it just made me wonder if some women just want to have a wedding but not get ‘married’.   I also took their quiz if I am at risk to get PWD and don’t worry I am not at risk but actually display traits that will weather the first years of marriage.  So essentially I’ll become an alcoholic.  Can’t wait to experience that…Moving on…


Fashion Lesson #6: A long, lean silhouette that creates a 70s vibe is a good look for a wedding dress


That’s pretty much it for Brides.  It was quite insightful and was interesting to read a women’s publications that wasn’t about getting a man, but rather how to make one of the most important days/events of your life memorable and how you want it.  As I said many times it was interesting to see how the wedding planning and wedding itself at times can seem more important than the actual marriage.  But overall, Brides provides a positive outlook and attempts to create an excitement for potential brides.


Key Learning’s:


-Weddings are a huge deal for the ladies…HUGE..they want to make it unique to them and the people attending


-Wedding dresses must be white and are expensive as shit


-Weddings are a direct reflection on the bride and her ability to be a host and shows her taste in style and her overall class.


Until next time…


One Comment

  1. jw added these pithy words on July 26, 2011 | Permalink

    Rofl. The blow-dried hair photo make me chortle in class.

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